Friday, August 17, 2012

The Bad Guy!!

In most fairy tales, stories, novels, plays and movies the most common pattern of narration employed is the characterization of the Hero(protagonist) -Villain(antagonist) pair. We all like a Hero who saves the day, stands for all that is righteous in the world, helps those in dire need and stops the antagonist in his tracks when he/she is conniving or implementing a sinister plan usually to destroy cities, kill people or cause destruction - large scale or otherwise. In the end it is usually the hero who steals the limelight leaving the villain regretting his misdeeds or usually dead; but lets do an autopsy of the Hero - Villain complex shall we?

Villain Royalty Free Stock Vector Art Illustration

I for one have always believed that the mastery of a story teller resonates in the manner in which he/she designs the Anti Hero or the Antagonist - which you can clearly notice in most Best selling books, movies and stories. For instance the Harry Potter series which had an excellent Anti Hero character in Lord Voldemort who gave the teenage wand wielding wizard Harry Potter ample opportunities to unearth the dormant heroism lying within him is something that will be appreciated say even 50 years down the road because the tale of Harry Potter is something I believe transcends age.

Movies on the other hand are a completely different cup of tea altogether. If books focus on maximizing the grey shade element on the antagonist; movies make them look like the latest escapees from a Home for the Mentally challenged. They are often made to look like mindless buffoons who seem to have all the resources in terms of money, political clout, intellect and influence at the beginning of the movie but a hero who 9.9 times out of 10 rises from dust will relieve them of their everything in the last half an hour of the movie not to mention that he usually has his way with the daughter or sister of the villain as well - talk about adding insult to injury.

Indian movie villains across languages are my pet peeve; most of whom are portrayed to be scarily moustached fat rich business men or landlords who usually have the heroes working under them either as their right hand men or as their sons. Now it becomes the prerogative of the writers to sell you 'the villain is pure evil' line so as to lay the foundation for the biblical reminder - Good always triumphs over evil. As a thumb rule they usually end up bringing in a bimbo love interest into the mix - primarily for a multitude of  activities; the most important of which involves running around random trees in a song and whom the villain can at his own sweet convenience abduct or even kill when he deems her presence unnecessary which mind you he never does. Resulting in the hero almost always swearing vengeance at the villain in front of an idol of his favorite deity to the resounding background score of ringing temple bells due to the fiercely blowing wind on an intense thundershower night.

Not surprisingly I am a sucker for movies or stories that have a great bad guy in the mix - the likes of which include Professor James Moriarty in Sherlock Holmes, Agent Smith in The Matrix or Bob Biswas in Kahaani among many many more; simply because their character sketches were done so brilliantly and that they complemented the net plot of the story or the movie. Female villainesses are not too far behind either - they are shown to be dashingly beautiful ladies who wear designer clothes and flirt perennialy with danger and take pride in pulling one over on the protagonist.     

When I was little and boys my age dreamt of being the next Shahrukh Khan; I had it fixed in my pea sized brain that I was the next big villain waiting to burst into the scene - yes, I'm very realistic that way - I know. Come to think of it - who wouldn't want to be a bratty, snotty rich person who has servants that answer to my every beck and call, drive costly cars, dress up in a gaudy night suit with a vintage hand crafted smoking pipe in my mouth and almost always have my way with any woman I want as opposed to being a HERO who firstly has to appear for the entire 3 odd hours of the movie, get beaten black, blue and god knows what shade of green on multiple occasions, fight several hoards of men sent by the villain, be the beacon of righteousness and finally barely but only very barely mind you; end up on the winning side minus half the family who if we remember well the villain finishes off - did I hear someone say BUZZKILL?

While expecting the villain to come up trumps at the end of a story would be a practical impossibility and considering the dime a dozen dozen shoddy movies that come into our cinemas every month I realistically don't see the quality of villains on the silver screen or otherwise going up drastically but one is legally allowed to be an eternal optimist, right?

Lets raise a toast to those poor misdirected souls who believe in upsetting the balance of the apple cart and upholding something that is not exactly righteous for it is them who make Heroes out of ordinary men and women. 

Sunday, July 22, 2012


Well, I believe that in life, if there is one thing that will change with every passing minute, it is a relationship, perhaps because people in it are changing or may be it is part of the entire circle for these changes to occur. but yeah, for sure, there are these phases that every relationship will definitely go through.
every relationship, no matter how long it lasts or how close it gets starts with that first glance, sometimes a careless sweep across the room, sometimes a lingering look and in rare cases an image that remains in your head  for a long time after the actual person has gone. thats where it all starts and what follows is a beginning. thats probably the best part of a relationship where two people are just getting to know each other, warm, cordial, friendly. thats the part where, if the connection is actually there, those two people would sometimes even go out of the way to make things nice and they would like going out of the way.
what comes next is the phase when those people begin to get to know each other for real, the deeper layers to find out what lies underneath the mask. thats when they actually begin to get comfortable. and then comes a time when these people are actually comfortable with each other, thats the phase where they dont pretend to be super nice for sake of being nice, they actually like being nice. and definition of nice changes as well. of course, some galiyan may become a part of your lingo along with other insults but the bond is deeper and better than ever before.
what comes next is what i believe the real test of every relationship, its the part where two peole are so comfortable with each other that they start expecting, they expect the other person to be there, to understand. sometimes these expectations dont come true and thats when it hurts like hell. but once in a while, you meet a person who will pleasantly surprise you by meeting all these expectations and some more.
but sometimes, the problem is not not finding that person who will pass all these phases with you but passing these phases together. its about how well you can acclimate to these changes, before they get to you or what those two people have between each other.
my problem has been that i have resisted all these changes at some point or the other, i have tried to avoid them, intentionally or unintentionally. and the transition is something i always find tough to happen. i have always found myself either a phase ahead or behind of the other person, well not always but in most cases. i have lost people to these phases but i have also known people who have held my hand and walked me through it.  i have also known that what comes after these transitions is totally worth all the confusion and utter nonsensical stuff that i go through.
so cheers to all these changes, cheers to all these phases, cheers to everything that comes and goes cuz in end what matters is not where you reached but what you went through cuz life was never meant to be a destination, it was always a journey... 

Monday, June 25, 2012

A Strange Day.........

It’s a day to be quiet; spent in anger and disguise. Because it’s a kind of day that scares you, scares you deep, and scares you good, real good I mean. When you are afraid of nothing more around you, but only yourself.

Afraid of what you have become, if only for a day. 

And so you take a day off, a day off from yourself. The trick is to just take a back seat and watch the world go, like a small tin can rolling down the slanted street.

And if you would watch it for too long, you would realize that it’s never rolling in, nor rolling out. Because it never grows too near nor too far, it just rolls. 

So what do you do? 

You just take a walk down thae street. You simply roll with the can, and never take your eyes off it. You watched it dance, and follow suit. Watch it pull every god damn trick from the bag that is there to be had, and you watch. And ask no questions.

No questions ever. Because there are no answers to be had. 

And once you have walked far enough, long enough, you realize you are not alone. No way near! There are people, and always more people. It’s a form of rejoice, a bloody festival out there. Like an ugly welcome, watching them grinning, or somber to the core.     

Walking down the street, filled with walking sticks, moral harelips and hunchbacks, people all around, it was like watching a thousand pig heads sticking out of thousand human torsos, made me feel like a captive walking down an Indian gauntlet, walking down to the scaffold.  

And continued on. Walkin’, and humming, Trying to make every moment count. Knowing this is as close to fun as I am capable of being. 

And then, from the corner from my eyes, I see a beggar approaching. A beggar with a shine. A physical matchstick of a man with perhaps only enough blood pumped each day to keep the chest heaving. 

As the beggar neared, smiling, I spotted a set of healthy white teeth unveiled as his lips widened.

What a smile? I wondered. Now realizing where all the blood in his veins was spent. Like every fiber of his body and soul, the heart, the bones and the blood, committed for one jingle of glory; to keep the teeth shining. 

And I moved on. Ignoring him as soon as I first noticed him.

Straight down my eye line, a mother is comforting a little punk ass of her son, a fat round spoiled brat who had just found out that the world isn’t something to be taken granted for. While mother cuddles him, telling him things that like most parents do, things that little punk ass kid like this one has no use for, nor the care. 

I watch the kid sobbing, making economical use of his limited set of tears. Spending each with prolonged intermissions, while filling the gap with noise that, with their varying ebb and flow, perhaps represented more grief than there was a genuine case for. 

And the woman with expensive embroidery around her hanging cowish motherly skin, the kind of skin that has given birth to hordes of such brats, one too many perhaps, and dark eye shades, kept telling him to trust her, and to have faith in God, though which of those statements she actually meant to be true, it was hard to guess. 

Apparently the little kid has taken a fall, face first, into the hard concrete ground, chasing a wild puppy in the street, apparently meaning more harm than love to that innocent creature of God.

And his nose bled, and the bleeding wouldn’t stop, and each drop only brought him closer to death, closer to the unknown, or so the fat kid in big shorts thought. Knowing that he only meant harm to an innocent soul, to a puppy that was now nowhere to be seen, and there would be hell to pay if he dies now, without repentance. 

And deservingly so. I mused and moved on. All men should burn for what they do. 5 years old or 85, what’s the difference?

Leaving them to their perils behind, I reached for the cell from my pocket, wishing to make a connection. Recalling an earlier conversation I had, or the lack of it for that matter. Because a phone call spent in silent misunderstanding is not conversation. 

Make a connection. But with what? I fumbled in my thoughts. It’s hard to understand the man who woke up in my bed today, it’s hard to look him in the mirror and reach out. 

I slipped the cell back in my pocket, wishing nothing no more. Afraid of the disappointment that might await me on the other end of the frequency. Because a hope of being loved, and of being understood, of expectations, bring along with them a hordes of fear and apprehensions. 


Twists & Turns. And so much complications. Yet we are living. Sometimes, without a definite ambition. Sometimes with an overwhelming goal.

A goal which makes you cross your own limits, your own records. A goal, which turns your entire self and brings out the polished version of a new you. Sometimes, the goal takes you to the height of every possibility you've ever imagined to reach. Meanwhile, these goals can be your worst enemies. Maybe when they're not fulfilled or when you just don't have one. As they say, you'd turn into a wrecked soul searching for nothing and yet you'd be feeling all the uneasiness to do something, to achieve something. But what? That's where you miss it.

What exactly these goals are? Your wishes? Objectives? Things you want to achieve? Things you want to live with? Or may be a future image of you in a better position or in a better character? Nevertheless, we all are linked with such goals, when we have one or when we don't have one.

But isn't it better to have a goal and look forward to do something in life? Without caring for the ultimate result, for the ultimate goal?

Here, another thought strikes me. If you just don't think of the ultimate result and keep making your short term goals, how would you then align all your goals with the ultimate one? with the big picture? HOW??

Well, confusions and solutions. They are a part of our twisted curvy life. What fun it would have been without much complications if we were to live a simple boring life with no curves but boring dull straight paths?

So better, live with the twists and who knows you might end up getting something which you cherish for all your life?

It could be anything. May be the F grades which made you switch your courses? or the girl/guy who broke your heart and made you realize that you deserve someone way better than her/him?

Well, life goes on with the complications. Yet, sometimes you cant help thinking about the opportunity cost. But maybe, there are better options? or maybe, you didn't deserve such greatness which you repent about? Well, in all those circumstances, one thing remains the same. You cant just let go of a few things no matter how hard you try. You just cant. And so, i just cant..</span>

Friday, June 8, 2012

Break Ups: As a friend...

There's nothing more annoying than trying to cheer up your friend after a break up that feels like the end of the world for them. You end up saying things you don't believe in. Cliche things. Movie dialogues. For a while you'll feel stupid even saying those lines, but the person is so depressed the only person who knows how lame you sound, is you. [The victim of depression has been sketched so in order to avoid any resemblance with any real human being so that I do not get kicked out of my social circle. Yeh right you sadasses know who you are :D]

Time doesn't really heal. Cake does. 

It's not that you're special, it's statistics. There's gotta be someone you can find with mutual interests, out of 7 billion people in the world. 
Some ego-inflation should fill that puncture in your heart.
Here you will get an awkward reply, like "I don't care if there's anyone better than him/her, he/she is all I ever wanted." You will know deep inside that it is cake that everyone really wants because cake is not a lie, but they don't know that yet and it's okay.

You will find yourself trying really hard to cheer them up but they will slap your face with miserable bouts of failure.

Responses from individual male and female victims of depression.

Oh well a few hundred calories more into my blood system.

I even make phone calls just to make sure they didn't do anything stupid in my absence, which is a big thing for me anyway because I hate phone calls, mostly because they're full of unnecessary conversation to avoid awkwardness.

I must be a good friend, I must be a good friend, I must be a good friend.
Break ups suck. Not because it makes the couple miserable, but even our lives. Please love each other carefully (don't give me that "I didn't mean to love, it just happened" - crap) and until you heal again, eat lots of cake and buy yourself a puppy becomes there's nothing more reliable of your love, than a puppy. Unless it dies. Now that's sad.

Friday, April 27, 2012

"Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light", Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

A few things that 7 Harry Potter books have taught me:-

  1. How Severus Snape taught me to love till hell freezes over.
  2. And how Fred and George taught me how to laugh even when things don't seem so funny.
  3. About how Albus Dumbledore taught me that just because things are in my head does not mean they're not real.
  4. And of how Sirius Black and Remus Lupin taught me that you do grow up and do the right thing.. Eventually.
  5. I want to say so much about Hagrid teaching me that I will have friends even if I decide to love absolutely strange creatures like dragons and blast-ended skrewts.
  6. There's more on Hermione teaching me that frizzy hair will not last a life time and Ron teaching me that everything's fair in love and war and it really can be a little bit of both.
  7. Also, about how Dobby taught me about liking socks and that wearing different ones in each foot is okay.
  8. Of how Harry taught me that it's okay to be a little foolish, as long as you do end up defeating Voldemort. And how Luna taught me that dreamy is the new sexy and Neville taught me that green thumbs do come in handy.
I love Harry Potter. How there are no loose ends, how good triumphs over evil and everything to do with almond eyes and red hair. And how the books are always better than the films.
More importantly, I love the books because they made me believe in magic. Even if I was disappointed because I didn't get my letter.... :P :D

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Collision of the past and the present

Bumping into exes with their currents is weird. Like really weird. Specially when it is completely unexpected, you are at an emotional low and work-stressed. The first thought which comes into your mind seeing her (of course,with someone else!) - Thank God, it could have been me! :D

You see...meeting someone whom you knew at some point for a long time means chaos. Big time. You are damn too familiar with their habits, their nuances, their actions and hell, even their gestures. That tensed habit of playing with the wrist watch, that action of putting the titian hair behind the ears, that irritating habit of twitching the eyebrows, that nuances of saying 'Hello' while titling your head towards right, that upright stand on your toes when to say 'alright'. It just seems so familiar. Like, time has flown but nothing has changed. Like, time has stopped but you have changed.

There is an air of unexpectedness and anguish.  There are unspoken words and unheard murmurs. The emotions which engulf you at that moment leave you in the awe of the unknown and fascinated with the familiar. There are ephemeral glimpses of the past and a collapse of an almost useless life. There are broken images and dreams, there are unfulfilled promises and desires. You see, such is love and its eccentricities. They collide and crashes both, your past and the present.

PS: On the other side, there is an irresistible temptation to be snarky, rude or distant to the person alongside her. However, my mother's advice to be nice to snakes and spiders still hold in my life.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

A Look At The Past Year.......

 I cross out another year in my life. This year has been a wonderfully incredible roller coaster ride. It was like a book brimming with 'lessons learned', like a movie with eternally blissful scenes and like a sad song which echoes of hurt, pain, regret and guilt.

This year I have realized that every minute particle that circumferences our existence is to be utterly grateful for no matter what. Every fraction of a second, every morsel, every smile, every instant of safety, home and family is to be grateful for. Nothing should be taken for granted. I have realized that there is so much more to living than meets the eye, so much more to life than the next few months or years, so much more than what we proclaim that we can ‘die for’ at this instant. Nothing is permanent. Nothing is eternal. We live temporary roles in temporary lives in temporary homes.

This year I have witnessed the crashing of a dream I have honed for nearly half my life. The depression, the bouts of insignificance, the ranting portrayed in the past many posts pertained to this 'crash'. I imagined this year or a part of it to be totally different as compared to what it turned out to be. I cried a lot about it. I am still not over it. I can not say I will never be over it but this wound will take years to heal at the minimum. I am still staring at the shards of broken dreams and shattered fantasies that continue to gnaw the innards of me. This will take time to get over. This will take a lot of time to get over. Faces, words, ideas, perceptions, results, questions and the many strings attached will haunt me. I wanted 'it' so bad. I prayed, worked, hoped and dared to dream. It crumbled before my eyes.

I have learned that there is beauty in every ounce of imperfection, that it is okay to be insignificant, that it is okay to not be the best every single time. Yes, it hits you hard in the face at times but it has to be dealt with. It is as simple as that. Life's to be dealt with. Life's to be lived. I am dealing with the worst set-backs I can imagine at this stage but the point is I have seen people suffer through much more magnanimous and much more harsher setbacks, so my life is pretty good.

This year I have lived life in little moments; I have lived to the maximum in random bursts of laughter, in the warm comforts of old socks and sweaters, in trips to a little general store, in reading Gone with the Wind on a rainy July evening, in midnight-to-morning conversations, in laughs on the college stairs, in family gup-shup sessions constituent of dry fruit and tea, in singing everything from 'Afreen' to 'Hey There, Delilah' on cold afternoons, in photographs, through words, through poetry and music, in concocting utterly fictional stories with the best of friends, in reliving old moments,  in dreaming about new ones… ...

This year I have realized that people are fake and materialistic, that they are living in constant globules of pretentious shit and that hypocrisy is as vital to an average human being as breathing. People take you seriously – or consider you worthy of trust, conversation or friendship – as long as you are living on a specific and a standardized status of living. Other than that, you matter less to them than the beep of the microwave. Unfortunately for them, the reverse is also true. It really is. We just fail to comprehend it at times.

This year I came to terms with the fact that, ‘We don’t own people. We only think we do.’ People and friends are not ‘ours’ as much as we label or think them to be. We do not own people. People do not own us. That is the way of life. 

I can drone on and on about things I have learned, realized and stumbled upon but I guess for now this will do. I have had the best year and I have had the worst year. There have been highs and there have been dreadfully, hurtfully, horribly torturous lows. However, like I said I am grateful for them too because what does not kill you only makes you stronger, my 'lows' are higher than the 'lows' of numerous others and even higher than the 'highs' of some, every mistake, failure, fall is a lesson learned and better sooner than later. This year I have had a chance to know some terrific people, I have gotten much closer to older ones, I have had to let go of some along the way. I can not say that I have grown any wiser. I can not say that I have grown up. I have seen my friends grow up; however, I reside on an entirely perpendicular plane. I am still an irrational ball of overflowing emotions, dreams and sentiments. I still brim with rudeness, selfishness, lethargy, jealousy, envy, hatred and sarcasm. I do not have any solid resolutions whatsoever. I just hope and pray for the best....... :)